WALKER'S CAY, Bahamas (20 Nov 2004) -- Cyber Diver Society (CDS), the world's largest eco diver organization, has successfully launched Shark Feeder CAM to showcase the spine-tingling thrills of shark feeding in the Bahamas and several other colonial throwbacks including Tahiti where feeding sharks is still legal thanks to underpaid and corrupt government officials who are even cheaper to bribe than scuba magazine editors, DAN executives and scientists on retainer to PADI Project Aware. Shark Feeder CAM offers divers and non-divers alike an up-close and personal look at the extraordinary courage and bravado displayed by world-renowned shark feeders who heroically risk life and limb day in and day out to entertain educate thrill-seekers, re-brand sharks as "cute and cuddly just like dolphins", and sell really dumb videos of shark attacks to Shark Week producers who have families, girlfriends and cocaine habits to support. "C'mon Maury--whadya think smart guy? I'm in this for my health or something? How many times do I have to tell ya? I said BIG BOOBS--OK? I said babes in thong bikinis--OK? I said BIG SHARKS biting the shark guy with the Swiss accent and the PADI instructor hat--OK? Huh, shark scientist? Whatever! Just make sure PADI pays for the hat. And I want the sharks biting him in the Bahamas. HEY--don't tell me I can't afford the Bahamas. OK, OK...I can't afford the Bahamas...IN THE LOWER LEG ALREADY..." Dive industry applauds Shark Feeder CAM Even prior to the official announcement at SHARK FEEDING UNLIMITED 2004 in Las Vegas when CDS rolled out Shark Feeder CAM, environmentalists, dive industry leaders and shark feeder wannabes expressed unmitigated enthusiasm for the concept. "It's the best thing that happened to scuba diving since the invention of the snorkel with the little ball that stops almost all the irritating water from coming in," said NAUI big cheese Jim Bram. "Shark feeding has played third fiddle to shark finning for far too long," said shark riding stuntman Jean-Michel Cousteau. "Now shark feeders can finally get the same respect shark finners get for the mega-bucks we make in the shark entertainment business." Liberace back from the dead? No, it's shark feeding promoter and PADI marketing maestro Al Hornsby showing off his new tatoo (but does he have a tongue pierce?) | | Live from Walker's Cay in the Bahamas: Shark Feeder CAM! Click on image and check out the spine-tingling thrills of shark feeding in the Bahamas! "I've said it before and by golly I'll say it again," said Peter Bennett. "It's easy to part scuba divers from their money but it's not easy to beat the IRS. That's why everybody making money should follow DAN and hide their profits in the Caymans. Homeland security, no child left behind and environmental protection: GIMME A BREAK!!!" Helping shark feeders help themselves Another important objective of Shark Feeder CAM is to help shark feeders better communicate their business plans. "We're just thrilled to offer people an inside look at the unique, exciting and lucrative business of shark feeding," commented CDS President Evan T. Allard. "Our mission is to put CDNN's powerful spotlight on our shark feeding industry superstars - your Erich Ritters, your Neal Watsons, your Stuart Coves for crying out loud." "Hey, while we sit back and complain about substandard ensuite facilities and global warming, our shark feeding heros are down in the trenches getting it done with the chum," added Allard. "So what better way than to zoom in on the shark feeders to deliver our industry's message that shark feeding is cool because most tourists die from food poisoning, terrorist attacks and airplane crashes." © CDNN - CYBER DIVER NEWS NETWORK |
