Sick and tired of dive industry hucksters, greedy county commissioners, fast-talking tourism developers and Florida Keys bankers who think you are SOOOO STUPID you'll pick up the tab on their botched GET-RICH-QUICK Spiegel Grove amusement park schemes? Well now you can cut through the crap and get ripped off without all of the annoying Spiegel Grove hype and illegal wreck diving taxes aimed at making YOU pay for a million dollar navigation hazard designed to make them, NOT YOU, rich! For just $250.00 (ORDER FOUR NOW & PAY ONLY $1,200!!!), we'll send you a souvenir limited edition FAKE GOLD LIFETIME SPIEGEL GROVE MEDALLION, designed for display as a memento to your stupidity generosity AND OUR GREED. The Spiegel Grove 'Florida Flop' medallions are made of genuine 100% brass with a luxurious fool's gold finish, and each one comes with an environmentally correct imitation velvet case to help protect Florida Keys velvetines, a critically endangered marine mammal threatened by sewage, PADI Discover Scuba courses and too much Jimmy Buffet music. A raised likeness of the Florida Flop (aka Spiegel Grove) celebrates the American ingenuity, know-how and community spirit that "...teaches all of us exactly what happens when you give the-key-to-the-bank to greedy county commissioners, fast-buck tourism promoters, a wimpy marine photographer and a mentally deficient barracuda molester!" Purchasers of the Spiegel Grove limited editions, which should not be confused with yet-to-be-announced limited editions that will look identical but cost substantially less, will have their names spray-painted all over a gigantic 580-foot tall by 350-foot wide steel-plated statue of Elvis. NOAA officials, who allegedly made the controversial decision to sink Elvis in Florida rather than Hawaii, said the monument will become the world's largest artificial reef and resort hotel when it is partially sunk STANDING UPRIGHT in the Florida Keys Marine Sanctuary on January 8, 2005 to celebrate the King's 70th birthday. | | Support the American dream!!! Buy a Florida Flop fake gold medallion and make us filthy rich! Please note: Your Spiegel Grove Florida Flop purchase is NOT tax deductible and the Upside Down Keys Marine Sanctuary & Amusement Park Association contributes nothing whatsover to worthy causes. Instead, we'll pocket every dollar we get from the sale of FAKE GOLD LIFETIME SPIEGEL GROVE MEDALLIONS and squander the money selfishly on our own extravagant lifestyles. Current Status: Order today! Even though the actual FAKE GOLD LIFETIME SPIEGEL GROVE MEDALLIONS are not yet in stock, THEY'RE GOING FAST. Remember: Only two or three thousand limited edition FAKE GOLD LIFETIME MEDALLIONS will be sold with a number from #1 to #1,000. After that, you'll have to settle for a not-yet-announced limited edition medallion with a nondescript number like #1018 and a discount price that says, "I'm too cheap to be among the elite." (Bulk purchase discounts are still available to dive shop retailers, online dive gear wholesalers, unemployed Elvis imitators and Canadians) Support the American dream--Buy a FAKE GOLD LIFETIME FLORIDA FLOP MEDALLION!!! © CDNN - CYBER DIVER NEWS NETWORK |
