On June 10, 2002, the world waited. Demographically preferred dive consumers, their families, loved ones and neighborhood wreck diving enthusiasts gathered around computer monitors nervously clutching their fake gold life-time medallions and praying for an upright Spiegel Grove as they followed every detail of the live CDNN news reports from the Florida Keys. Could heroic and courageous salvage experts flip the ship? Could project organizers save the underwater amusement park bonanza and the modern sewage treatment facilities county commissioners said it would surely build? Could another $250,000 help safeguard plans to sink the gigantic Elvis statue NOAA bought last year from Donny and Marie? Could anyone find the missing lifetime medallions? One project leader stood up and asked to be mounted (or was it counted?). "I just got off the phone with my wife and told her this is just like Santa Claus is coming to town," Steve Frink bubbled incoherently. "We go home and go to sleep and tomorrow morning the Spiegel Grove will be sitting upright." But as everyone but Steve knows, ol' Saint Nick doesn't come to town on June 10 and sadly, the frumpish old Grove, proud, bitchy and defiant to the end, refused to politely sit upright in her designated marine sanctuary seat. As concerned neighborhood wreck diving enthusiasts sat scratching their buzz cuts and wondering if that meant the Grove was not "the world's greatest wreck", medallion owners scrambled to get into their eBay sellers' accounts. DON'T GIVE UP THE SHIP! Not to worry! Even as failed ship sinkers Frink, Slate and Key Largo Chamber of Commerce members blamed each other for the fiasco, grunted unconvincingly about selling enough medallions to give it another shot and schemed over plans to get a Viagra endorsement of wreck penetration specialty courses, CDNN announced the final solution. Based on the overwhelming response to last month's Floating Flop contest, CDNN announced "SPIN THE FLOP!" a new contest that aims to promote the now completely submerged but on-her-side Spiegel Grove as the world's best wreck no matter how bad and dangerous it really is. As one local Keys tourism official reminded us, "Y'all knows they bin buying lil' brass coins at two hundred fifty bucks a pop on nuthin but promises! HELL, THEM FOOLS BE BUYIN ANYTHING Y'ALL PUTS IN FRONT OF 'EM!" So dive in and SPIN THE FLOP! It's our last chance to protect critically endangered wreck diving amusement parks, safeguard NOAA's plans to sink a gigantic Elvis, and stop the government conspiracy to ban all toilet flushing in the Florida Keys! FIRST PRIZE - Spiegel Grove wreck dive or $9.99SECOND PRIZE - Spiegel Grove Lifetime (FAKE) Gold Medallion in imitation velvet case plus salt-water resistant plastic tag or $5.99THIRD PRIZE - Steve Frink signed original Frink's Folly photograph or $1.79 | | Florida's fake gold medallion hawker Steve Frink does the arithmetic for New Jersey shark feeding promoter Stan Waterman. SPIN THE FLOP CONTEST "Just add vinegar!" by Nigel McDuff "No extra charge for the oil!" by Manny Moore "Remember! Every dollar you spend diving the Grove will help clean up Florida's sewage problem!" by Sharky Davis "When the current is right, you get a free trip to the Bahamas!" by Tom Joad "Dive the triple threat Grove for wreck diving, cave diving and drift diving all on the same dive!" by Lloyd Bridges over Madison Avenue "What's got a lot of diver-friendly entrances, but no exits? The horizontal Speigel Grove, which is now an official CAVE DIVE!" by Mark Schacht "First we'll dive the Grove and just in case we lose anybody, we'll dive the underwater Jesus statue on the way back!" by Buddy Mandell "More than just another wreck dive, the Spiegel Grove demonstrates that in America, even five drunks in a Florida bar can almost make their dream come true!" by Marcia Campbell "And if you can find your way back out, the next dive is on the house!" by Rodney Tubbs "You don't have to be narc'd to be disoriented." by Jason Harris "Wearing a FLOP medallion on a chain around your neck distinguishes you as an easy mark for local merchants!" by Dion Mondesi "Gee, it looks soooo natural on its side!" by Clive Bennett "You can have your picture taken next to a propeller without decompressing!" by Alison V. "The broken helicopter pad gives it a 'sunk by enemy fire' quality" by Tiny Dobbs EDITOR'S NOTE: Thank you for your participation. CDNN's 'Spin the Flop' contest is finished. © CDNN - CYBER DIVER NEWS NETWORK |
