The Frink's Job and the Great Spiegel Grove RobberyPowered by CDNN - CYBER DIVER News Network
by ALISTAIR BILLINGS & FREEMAN WASHINGTON
You've really got to hand it to Spencer Slate, Steve Frink and local Florida Keys officials. The Spiegel Grove saga has become the most amusing scandal in Florida since pregnant chads, and testimony to what happens when you give local yokels the key to the bank. "Hey Bubba, we gotta bag fulla ugly brass medallions 'n yellow plastic tags--y'all got anotha quarter million bucks we can throw into that big ol' hole in the water out yawnda by the reef?" You will recall that on May 17, the Grove (more commonly known as the 'Florida Flop' or 'Frink's Folly' these days) became the world's most infamous and expensive navigational hazard after Slate, Frink and local redneck yahoos botched the sinking. Now, almost a month and $250,000 later, a professional salvage team finally put the ship on the bottom BUT GROVE ORGANIZERS PULLED THE PLUG BEFORE THEY COULD GET HER UPRIGHT. That's BAD NEWS no matter how local dive operators try to spin Side G. Why? Well for starters dive consumers want upright wrecks and that's exactly what Slate, Frink and the Florida Keys Chamber of Commerce promised us not once, BUT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN as part of their campaign to sell lifetime medallions for the "world's greatest wreck". In fact, just a few hours before the Grove finally went down and settled on her side, Frink was exuberantly babbling to his wife about Santa Claus bringing him an upright Spiegel Grove. "I just got off the phone with my wife and told her this is just like Santa Claus is coming to town," Frink bubbled to reporters on Sunday. "We go home and go to sleep and tomorrow morning the Spiegel Grove will be sitting upright." Evidently Frink failed Santa's "naughty or nice" test, or maybe Saint Nick was just turned off by yet another gimmicky tourist trap aimed at luring back divers who have shunned the dead reefs and polluted waters of the Keys in favor of bluer pastures in the Bahamas, the Caymans and other renowned Caribbean dive destinations. OK, so divers want an upright wreck-SO WHAT? The Spiegel Grove is not the first wreck to end up sitting on her side. True enough, but the Flop IS the first wreck deliberately sunk in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary that ended up on her side, and because that orientation significantly increases risks, the Sanctuary could be liable when someone dies diving the Grove. Why 'when', not 'if' someone dies? | Failure to sink the Spiegel Grove upright compromises diver safety |
The two major reasons pertain to her safe use by novice divers (the vast bulk of those the Chamber of Commerce hoped to lure to the Keys): Depth and disorientation. Upright, the Grove's uppermost deck would have offered a flat, horizontal platform at a depth of about 12 meters (40-feet), a fairly easy dive even for casual and less experienced divers. According to project sponsors, in that position, "Divers will be able to swim through 4 by 4-foot openings to such Level 03 areas as the pilothouse, operations office and facilities control, chart and radar transmitter rooms".But on her side, hatchways, decks, ladders and other interesting parts of the ship (bare hulls are not worth the price of admission folks!) would be disorienting, with decks perpendicular (rather than parallel) to the sea surface and hatchway entrances and ladders leading sideways, rather than up or down. And these elements would be distributed along a depth gradient ranging from about 23 meters (75-feet) to 40 meters (130-feet). Adding to the danger of penetration is the fact that final preparations to make the ship safe for divers were abruptly halted by the botched sinking. According to a comprehensive report put together by an ex-crew member of the Grove dated 17 May 2002 (13:30 EST): "The Spiegel Grove...landed upside down in the silt... Apparently there was still plenty of cutting to do to make her a safe haven for divers." Finally, add to this unsettling mix a strong prevailing sea current which runs from the south at up to 3 knots, and you have a dive well beyond the "novice" level. Indeed, this combination of factors would advise against even minimal penetration of the ship by anyone but expert divers, a small fraction of the general diving public. This all spells "no go" for most divers unless the ship is completely righted. Although some people will line up and buy just about anything (we'll come back to this problem), few divers would be willing to travel to the Keys and plunk down their hard-earned cash for maybe 15 minutes of bottom time examining the outside of a hull. Can you say BORING? So Frink 'n friends are stuck between an enormous chunk of unattractively positioned steel (for novice divers at least), and the hard reality of exploding costs following their botched attempt to sink a ship that was already in financial trouble despite a controversial decision to divert $300,000 in Monroe County tax funds allocated for desperately needed sewage cleanup. HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU! And that's where you come in fellow diver! Yes - the same bungling 'experts' who already brought you the world's most expensive and infamous navigation hazard, now, more than ever, want you - the diving public - to pay for the mess they've created. That's right! Even though the Flop was to be sunk for no other purpose than to enrich local businesses, the clowns who botched the sinking figure to pass off as much of the cost as possible to you - the diver - and then bilk you for extra charges to visit a ship you paid to sink. Hey! No one ever went bust underestimating the lowest common denominator--right? So, the failed ship-sinkers cooked up a scheme to sell quasi-patriotic "commemorative medallions", replete with military-looking emblems and trappings designed to make us feel as if we were somehow supporting heroic naval battles to protect American freedom, although the stodgy old Grove never directly engaged an enemy and only fired its guns in practice drills. For only "$250, divers can purchase one of 1,000 limited edition (fake) Gold Lifetime Sponsor medallions" the official web site of the operation proclaims. Can't come up with that much just now? No problem - low-budget divers can opt for "a $10/year plastic version." So who is really selling these things, where is the money really going, and just what (besides the cheesy-looking brass coin) do you really get for your money when you buy a medallion? Good questions all - with answers not quite as clear as some would have you believe. The Sales Manager of the medallion hawkers is something called the "Upper Keys Artificial Reef Committee" (UKARC) headed by (you guessed it!) Steve Frink. Sales agents include the Key Largo Chamber of Commerce headed by (you guessed it again!) Steve Frink, Divers Direct, a large dive-gear retailer that reportedly guaranteed the massive bank loans used to finance the project, and a number of Keys dive operators who figure to cash in on the wreck diving bonanza. Regardless of who takes your money, checks are to be made out to UKARC, which claims that proceeds will go "To defray the costs of cleanup, preparation, and towing" and now the sinking fiasco of the ill-fated Grove. Huh??? Just what that means is anybody's guess. Theoretically at least, it could include Frink 'n friends' hotel, bar bills, and "consulting fees" incurred traveling up and down the eastern seaboard for the last seven years while overseeing aspects of the project. It could even cover future marketing junkets to promote the Grove at dive consumer shows around the world, an absolute necessity after Frink's failure to sink the Grove upright. Whatever the reality, don't hold your breath waiting for a full and open accounting of what bank accounts the medallion money winds up in, or how it eventually gets spent. And what does the buyer really get for their $10 plastic tag or the $250 fake gold coin? HEY! THAT'S THE BEST PART OF THE SCAM! | "I don't care who you are, PAY UP!" Florida underwater theme park operator Steve Frink lays down the medallion law to New Jersey shark feeding promoter Stan Waterman |
According to UKARC, the medallion gets you "access to any of the shipwrecks in the Upper Keys, including the Bibb, Duane, Eagle, and Spiegel Grove." Divers Direct promotes the medallions as "entitling you to dive on all the wrecks of the Upper Keys (the Eagle, the Duane, the Bibb, and the Spiegel Grove)." And Ocean Divers of Key largo is even more blunt, claiming that "medallions...will be a prerequisite for divers wishing to visit the artificial reefs off the Upper Keys."PREREQUISITE??? What the hell are they talking about? A "prerequisite" to dive in federal waters? Medallions required to access Atlantic Ocean dive sites within a National Marine Sanctuary? NO WAY!!! Not on our watch. Why don't these clowns just sell passes to the Atlantic Ocean? THINK ABOUT IT! It's no more ludicrous than being forced to buy an "access" pass to the Spiegel Grove and "…the artificial reefs of the Upper Keys." What's next? A Frink 'n friends toll-booth blocking US 1 as it enters Key Largo? Fact is, you don't need an ugly fake gold coin in an imitation velvet case or a silly little $10 plastic tag to dive the Spiegel Grove, the Duane, the Bibb, nor any other site in Florida's State waters, or US federal waters. You don't need Frink's permission, Slate's permission, the Key Largo Chamber of Commerce's permission nor the permission of any of the local dive op hucksters who are in on the scam to bilk divers. They have absolutely no authority and no right to demand that divers pay for their underwater amusement park. NONE. Proper authorities such as the Coast Guard, the National Marine Sanctuary and the Florida Marine Patrol might restrict your access to certain areas at times. But local dive operators? The Key Largo Chamber of Commerce? The Upper Keys Artificial Reef Rip-Off Committee (or whatever you want to call them)? NOT A CHANCE. Not legally anyway. JUST SAY NO TO FRINK'S FOLLY MEDALLIONS No friends, the great medallion hoax is just one more scam that Keys tourism hucksters have cooked up to convince you that you not only should - but MUST - shell out even more money if you want to dive there. In a nutshell, these charlatans are trying to sell you something you already have - the right to dive anywhere, anytime provided you comply with local environmental rules and regulations. If you have a way to get there, that is. See, local Keys dive operators have colluded to prevent access to Upper Keys dive sites unless you cough up a price-fixed surcharge - aka, the medallion fee. Is there a dive operator in the Keys who is not involved in the scam? If so, they are definitely not talking about it. And who can blame them? Doing the right thing in the Keys could get the ship-sinkers thinking about your boat as the next Upper Keys artificial reef. So, - like it or not - if you want to dive the Grove and you don't bring your own boat (or have the skills to operate a rental) you will likely end up being forced to pay for Frink's Folly. And have no doubt - they will keep hawking the fake gold coins and plastic tags - and trying to sell you on "diving the Grove" even though they failed to flip the Flop. Local dive operators have already begun the uphill task of trying to convince divers that an "on-her-side" Grove might be MORE fun than the original plan. That's going to be a VERY, VERY tough sell. But who knows? Anything is possible in an industry that describes Solomon Islanders as the world's friendliest people, the Peter Hughes Wave Dancer as the world's best dive boat, shark feeding as the solution to shark finning and the Spiegel Grove as the answer to the Florida Keys sewage problem. So if you are planning to dive in the Florida Keys, just say NO to medallion hawkers (often found in local dive shops), and to enhance visibility at the Spiegel Grove and other Upper Keys dive sites, FOR GOD'S SAKE, PLEASE DON'T FLUSH YOUR HOTEL ROOM TOILET! © CDNN - CYBER DIVER NEWS NETWORKSCUBA FORUMDISCUSS THIS TOPIC - Dive in and have your say at Scuba Forum | 
